Here's a public service reminder that your name shouldn't rhyme with what you do for a living. For example: the titular character in NBC's Hannibal... who's a cannibal! Now, this is an entirely awesome show, and I'll tell you much more about it in a minute—but this "rhyming" thing has got to be addressed!
It's never a good idea to rhyme your name with who you are—for the same reason you don't pair floral shirts and pants, dye your head and pubic hair the same color, or elect presidents who are related to former presidents. IT'S UNSEEMLY. And worse? It's "matchy-matchy"!
For example, no one respects a piranha named Donna, an au pair named Claire, or a layman named Damon. Similarly distrustful is a picnic ham named Sam, a tsunami named Tommy, or a Virgin Mary named Sherry. Or a meter reader named Peter, or a Kevin Spacey named Lacey, or... okay GODDAMMIT, YOU GET THE POINT.
That being said, naming a cannibal "Hannibal" is an especially terrible idea. And just so we're all on the same page, I am TOTALLY AGAINST CANNIBALISM. (Feel free to congratulate me on my brave stance.) However, if you're going to be a cannibal, there are certain expectations involved: eating human flesh is one. Being Rick Santorum is possibly another. But most important of all is being TERRIFYING. Let's imagine a cannibal has kidnapped me, surgically removed my liver, and is sautéing it in a pan along with some fava beans. "Oh, you're a terrifying person," I scream in agony. "Before I die, the least you can do is tell me your name!""My name is... Hannibal.""Wait... what? Your name is Hannibal... the cannibal? [Pause] HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"
As you can see, it kind of ruins the mood.
Other than that, Hannibal (the show) is really good and you should totally watch it when it returns for its third grotesquely beautiful season (NBC, TONIGHT June 4, 10 pm). For those just joining us, Hannibal is based on Thomas Harris' book Red Dragon, which documents the friendship between FBI profiler Will Graham (Hugh Dancy) and forensic psychiatrist Hannibal Lecter (Mads Mikkelsen)—that is until Will figures out Hannibal kills and eats people... thereby putting a damper on their bowling nights.