GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I sit and think about everything we do, and I find myself in misery and that ain't cool. LET'S GO TO PRESS.
Because they can't seem to do enough damage to Portland, developers are suing the city—again—over fees that would go to improving city parks. I think I speak for many of us when I say "BOOOOOO!"
Neighbors in tony Eastmoreland (where Mayor Charlie Hales resides) met last night to FREAK OUT about the possibility of Springwater Corridor homeless people, who are being swept out on August 1st, coming to their neighborhood.
More traffic woes: The Sellwood Bridge will be closed down tomorrow through July 31 for cars, bikes, and peds. Everyone in Southeast should plan their lives accordingly.
After all the screaming and yelling that occurred during the primaries, it's important to just stop for a moment and realize that history was made last night: Hillary Clinton is the first woman to ever win a major party's nomination for president. As Joe Biden once aptly said, "This is a big fucking deal."
Unfortunately, some Oregon delegates (also Sanders supporters) couldn't be happy for this historic moment that will inspire girls for generations to come—because they angrily stomped out of the convention with black gags over their mouths.
Former President (and possible future First Gentleman) Bill Clinton took the convention stage last night to provide a laundry list of his wife's many accomplishments, and the great lengths she's taken to serve the public good. It was a long speech—but if someone were to make a similar speech about Trump it would only maybe last two minutes?
At tonight's convention, you can expect rousing speeches from President Barack Obama and Veep Joe Biden. Ummmmm... where is Scott Baio??
You probably expected this, but the remaining charges against all police officers in Baltimore's Freddie Gray case have been dropped.
Reminder that #FreddieGray's death was ruled a homicide ... that apparently nobody committed. Sure. https://t.co/dpMK2A57H6
— Candice (@candicehelfandr) July 27, 2016
RELATED: After killing unarmed black 18-year-old William Chapman in a Virginia parking lot, court documents reveal that Officer Stephen Rankin turned to a Walmart employee seconds after the shooting and said, "This is my second one." He killed another unarmed person four years earlier.
US agencies are getting closer to figuring out who was behind the DNC's email hack, with the primary suspects being two Russian hackers known as "Fancy Bear" and "Cozy Bear." (Five bucks say they're not as adorable as they sound.)
Okay, now let's peer at today's WEATHER REPORT: Hotter today with a high of 88, and heating up even more tomorrow and Friday.
And finally, there's a scientific explanation for this explosion of LAVA AND LIGHTNING shooting out of Japan's Sakurajima volcano—but it freaks the shit out of my bottom nonetheless.