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To the Thief of "Bougie" Wallets, and His Date

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by Anonymous

You waited behind us in line at Eric Andre, and were so proud to say that you stole your wallet from "that local leather place, across from Powell's" because it was $60. Your date asked if you couldn't have just not stolen it. You kept up that you were right for doing it. Let me tell you, you sound like a sociopath trying to justify your actions. Ever heard "you are what you eat"? In your case, you are what you steal. An empty husk with an over-inflated sense of value.

To the date, I want to repeat what I said in case you didn't hear me. RED FLAG. Date would have been over for me, not sure why you kept humoring him. If you two are friends, you need to find better friends. A guy like that isn't the type to respect much of anything.

One last thing, Danner it looked like your Mesa wallet, retails for $64. Look out for a skinny white dude with brown hair and no sense.

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