Right before I started writing this, I thought, “Maybe I should write a 500-word column on Nelly. How come we never talk about Nelly anymore? And what happened to Ludacris? Does he just show up in Fast and Furious movies and then go back into hiding?” Then it turns out that’s pretty much the entirety of my thinking on Nelly. Also, it’s pretty crazy how authentically cool I used to think Nelly’s band-aid was. Only two people have ever accessorized with bandages: Nelly and the Invisible Man, and the Invisible Man has been dead for years. Nobody else was thinking like Nelly! I almost wish they had been—I wish other rappers took bandage-based accessorizing and ran with it. Freeway shows up on 106 & Park with his arm in an ornamental sling. Chingy’s new music video is ALL walking boots. The Diplomats show up on the Summer Jam stage in full body casts. A (broken) arms race of band-aids. All of a sudden they start calling themselves the Wound-Tang Clan. (I’m so sorry.)