GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I took one girl outside with me. Her name was Lonnie, she went to Junior High with me. I said, "Why you up in there dancing for cash? I guess a whole lots changed since I seen you last." LET'S GO TO PRESS.
Prosecutors will begin opening arguments this week in the trial against the Malheur Refuge Hillbillies who are gonna try to say their actions were protected by free speech. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
The Timbers fought for a big win over Real Salt Lake this weekend; read all the glorious details in this recap from Blogtown footy correspondent, Abe Asher.
And hurrah for our Portland Thorns who won a home playoff game on Sunday by taking down the Western New York Flash. Check out the hilarious and enthusiastic recap from our own hilariously enthusiastic Erin O'Regan!
Hillary Clinton was forced to leave a 9/11 ceremony due to complications from pneumonia, and is canceling a trip to California. Naturally, human vulture Donald Trump sees this as a golden opportunity for advancement, and is jumping all over it.
While Clinton's pneumonia diagnosis is serious, doctors say she should bounce back after at least one week's rest.
And... oh dear.
alright! Monday morning. Ready for a good week. Let's see what's going on in the worl-....
(crawls back into bed) pic.twitter.com/FBdLXhthFQ
— Hanif Abdurraqib (@NifMuhammad) September 12, 2016
Kansas City Chiefs cornerback Marcus Peters—among others in the NFL—are making it a regular habit to raise their fists in black solidarity during the National Anthem.
Former Brit Prime Minister David Cameron—who resigned after the Brexit vote—has also resigned from Parliament.
Philippine President Rodrigo Dutertewants all of US Special Forces out of his country fearing retribution from Islamic State-linked terrorists.
Transgender activist and actor Alexis Arquette (featured in The Wedding Singer and Pulp Fiction) has died at the age of 47.
Now let's look at the WEATHER outside: A nice last spurt of summer this week, starting today with sunny skies and a high of 80.
And finally, the best way to tour Paris is by hopping around it Parkour-style in a cute black dress. (At least according to this stylish ad!)