We really tried to get into "Luke's Diner,"the living advertisement for Gilmore Girls that opened at Oblique Coffee Roasters on SE Stark at 7 this morning and closed up shop at noon. Alas, it was not to be. BECAUSE THEY RAN OUT OF COFFEE! This was an obstacle not even the Mercury's resident Gilmore Girls fan club could overcome. For two hours, here's what we had to contend with:
Perhaps it was unreasonable to expect a surprise appearance from the fictional diner owner, but it was still disappointing to discover that Oblique wasn't a portal to Stars Hollow. Ideally, it would've been nice to experience some Gilmore Girls LARPing, with Luke yelling at us to drink decaf and eat healthier. Or at least a meet and greet with the actor who plays Luke, Scott Patterson. We would've even settled for Kirk.
As we waited in the cold, we came to two critical conclusions: (1) Luke would not approve of any of this, and (2) Lorelai and Rory would not have waited two hours for coffee. This is Portland! We don't really need a Luke's! There's coffee everywhere!
Look, we're still all going to watch A Year in the Life the day it's available on Netflix, and it was heartwarming to see a city block full of millennial ladies and moms and daughters celebrating their affection for our beloved TV show, but is waiting two hours for a novelty coffee sleeve a productive use of one's time? HIGHLY QUESTIONABLE.
Anyway, if you want to console yourself, there's still time to take this important coffee poll.