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Visit the Forest Today, Will Ya?

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by Anonymous

It's not very often that I'll go on a hike on a first date; I don't like to be committed to that much time in case things go south. I did try to change up my dating criteria this last summer and went on 4 first date hikes. Never again.

The hikes themselves went OK, I guess... it was the weird trend that made me go back to my old ways. Here's the deal:

Upon picking up said date at the agreed upon location, they all had on different variations of the exact same outfit:

White baseball cap.
Black yoga pants.
Nike shoes... three were neon colored, one was dark blue
Tank-top... all were neon colored.

What gives? Was there a memo sent out that this is now the new "outdoorsy" gear? It's funny, because now when I drive down the Gorge I'll tell whoever I'm with to get ready to count the people wearing this outfit. I challenge you to do the same; it's a sea of yoga pants, white caps and neon shoes down there!

I remember when people would just wear jeans, a long-sleeve with short-sleeve underneath (layers) and maybe some leather hiking boots. We'd bring a canvas bag filled with water and snacks and head out into the woods. Now, it seems like more of a selfie-taking endeavor... and, you know, you just gotta have on the SAME FUCKING OUTFIT THE ENTIRE WORLD IS WEARING.

I'm just saying.

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