The one thing, maybe the only thing that could possibly dislodge a Blazers season opener from the top spot on this very busy week's list of things to do? WING WEEK, ladies and gentlemen; Wing Week has landed, meaning you're gonna have one saucy, spicy, satisfying week at the very least. But one cannot subsist on wing alone (although you can damn sure try), so that leaves plenty of time to catch not only that Blazers game, but to have a talk with one of the Twin Peaks co-creators, to see one of the last great—and possibly the greatest—jazz vocalists of all time, an opportunity to get swiped by some of the city's best stand-ups, to talk shop with Ron Swanson, to save the IPRC, to talk weed with Earl Blumenauer, and to get lifted by some of Portland's best emcees. There's a lotta food for thought and food for the soul in the menu below. Load up your plate accordingly.
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Monday, Oct 24
Gallant, Eryn Allen Kane
One of alternative R&B’s newest rising stars, Gallant sings with a skyrocketing falsetto and heartwrenching vulnerability that’s almost too tender to bear. Finally, after opening for ZHU—and quite honestly stealing the show—in April, Gallant returns to Portland for a headliner gig! The show was moved to the more spacious Wonder Ballroom, so he’ll be able to stun way more fans with live renditions of “Bourbon,”“Skipping Stones,” and of course, “Weight in Gold.” JENNI MOORE
Wonder Ballroom, 9pm, $16-18, all ages
Wooden Shjips, The Lavender Flu
Wooden Shjips (silent “j”) revive the droning synths, tranced-out rhythms, and hallucinatory guitar wanderings of ’60s Nuggets-era psychedelia. Cut from the same sonic San Francisco cloth that produced Thee Oh Sees, Wooden Shjips have been tripping strong since their self-titled 2007 debut. Their most recent record, Back to Land, ramps up the velocity and lets the excess fall away. “In the Roses” begins with the whole band churning together in fifth gear as phasing guitar buzzsaws behind warbling organ and a relentless rhythm section. Dripping with reverb, bandleader Ripley Johnson’s vocals are as unintelligible as the faraway voices that come drifting in from the other side of a trip, and aurally shining guitar and organ freakouts fill the sonic space between verses. This is the perfect musical complement to the autumn mushroom season. SAM BOVARNICK
Mississippi Studios, 9pm, $13-15
Wing Week
Welcome to the Portland Mercury’s first-ever Wing Week—where nearly 20 of Portland’s favorite restaurants will offer a half-dozen specially made wings for a mere $5! These wings? These wings are meant to be eaten. Which means we can ignore prudence and moderation and eat as many of ‘em as possible.
Oct 24-29, Various Locations, click here for a list of participating venues
Cosmonauts, The Shivas, Psychomagic
Hailing from Burgerlandia, California (AKA Fullerton), Cosmonauts are among the most sonically diverse bands under the vague umbrella of psych. Ranging from jingly power-pop, to aggressively twangy surf-punk, to crunchy garage rock, 2013's Persona Non Grata is a record that actually does Lou Reed justice among the growing crowd of impostors. CAMERON CROWELL
Doug Fir, 8pm, $7-12
Opeth, The Sword
The Swedish death metal masters return to Portland in support of their 2016 album, Sorceress.
Roseland, 8pm, $30-45
Clare Rudy Foster
Portland author Claire Rudy Foster reads from her new book, I’ve Never Done This Before, a collection of short stories that investigate the power and effects of addiction on a diverse set of characters.
Annie Bloom's Books, 7pm
The Big Idea: Cannabis
Oregonian reporter Noelle Crombie moderates a panel discussion on the complexities of operating a marijuana business in Oregon. Panelists include U.S. Representative Earl Blumenauer, Dave Kopilak, an attorney at Emerge Law Group, Representatives from the Oregon Liquor Control Commission, and Noah Stokes, the CEO of CannaGuard Security.
Revolution Hall, 6pm, free w/ rsvp, all ages
Tuesday, Oct 25
Blazers vs. Jazz
How can you not be hyped for this Blazers season? How can you look at what the most overachievingest team in the league did last year, see that management doubled down on that, and not be excited? Especially when the team about to catch this season-opening ass-whooping is the goddamned Utah Jazz! Don't deny this hype—revel in it. Because it's right. BOBBY ROBERTS
Moda Center, 7pm, $10-240, all ages
Screaming Females, Moor Mother, Macho Boys
In almost any conversation about something other than women who shred, there’s a 90 percent chance I’d rather be talking about women who shred, how cool they are, and how much I wish I were a woman who shreds. The real-life manifestation of this desire is Marissa Paternoster, the lead singer and guitarist of three-piece rock outfit Screaming Females. With Paternoster’s ripping guitar solos and controlled vocals (she can go from high-pitched, nasal screams to Liz Phairesque deadpan alto seamlessly), Screaming Females is a bundle of refined aggression laced with contemporary nods to rock’s past. On last year’s Rose Mountain, the band finds themselves at the dangerous intersection of alternative rock, indie, and punk, but successfully straddles that space with strength and nuance. EMMA BURKE
Doug Fir, 9pm, $15
Pet Shop Boys
It’s easy to view Pet Shop Boys’ breakthrough single “West End Girls” as an artifact of ’80s London, but the reality is that the song found popularity as an underground dance hit on the West Coast of the US long before the re-recorded version climbed to the top of UK charts. In all likelihood, though, the duo’s classic late-’80s output was something of an unusual musical spectacle to audiences on both sides of the Atlantic: Singer Neil Tennant’s delivery drips with the detached gravity of a dream state, and unrelenting hooks propel incisive lyrics that belie the easy characterization of most dance floor fodder as banal. It’s a celebrated take on synth-pop—novel enough to be instantly gripping, familiar enough to live inside—that qualifies Pet Shop Boys as English cultural icons and keeps American listeners hitting repeat today. NATHAN TUCKER
Keller Auditorium, 8pm, $39.95-85, all ages
Lol Tolhurst
Lol Tolhurst, co-founder and former drummer of the Cure, reads from his new memoir, Cured: The Tale of Two Imaginary Boys, which chronicles the origins of the legendary band as well as Tolhurst’s own personal struggles.
Powell's City of Books, 7:30pm
Charlie Parr, Kory Quinn
It's hard to believe that country blues guitarist Charlie Parr is a modern-day musician from Duluth, Minnesota, but it's certainly encouraging that musicians like him still exist. The accomplished guitarist (and doppelganger for Cheech) is seemingly unaffected by our image-driven musical age, his weapons of choice being a resonator guitar, an acoustic 12-string, a fretless banjo, and a husky mid-range voice that complements his plucking. Parr will restore your faith that there are still musicians who don't need eyeliner or a laptop, but just want to play a mean guitar. ROSE FINN
Mississippi Studios, 8pm, $14-16
Wednesday, Oct 26
La Luz, Candace, Haley Heynderickx
Former Seattleites and current Angelinos La Luz play sinister doo-wop that sounds like it’s been dredged up from the murky floor of the Pacific, with surf guitar riffs that churn menacingly like invisible riptides. Tonight they’ll be joined by two of Portland’s most promising local acts—the self-described “witchgaze” of Candace and Haley Heynderickx’s darkly magnetic folk. CIARA DOLAN
Mississippi Studios, 9pm, $3 w/ rsvp
Tony Bennett
There aren't too many living legends still roaming the Earth, so when one the size of Tony Bennett decides he wants to do a show here in Portland, you should probably go.
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 7:30pm, $45-225, all ages
Tinder Live!
Produced and hosted by comedian Lane Moore, Tinder Live! is the only live comedy show to explore the strange world of dating through the Tinder app. Featuring real-time swiping and messaging, as well as helpful tips and tricks for using the app to land a date, Tinder Live! offers audiences an unpredictable romp into the world of online dating. With Larry Crane, Hutch Harris, Lucia Fasano, and Barbara Holm.
The Secret Society, 8pm, $15
Yeasayer, Lydia Ainsworth
Brooklyn band Yeasayer's 2007 debut All Hour Cymbals intersected with the zeitgeist at an improbable juncture. Its mixture of digital and acoustic instruments, its unflinching new-age mysticism, and its marriage of Eastern and Western musical tropes all worked together to make a slice of exotically ambitious pop. Their 2010 follow-up, Odd Blood, contained two big shiny brass-ring singles ("O.N.E." and "Ambling Alp"), but 2012's Fragrant World followed the irksome, then-current trend of deconstructing what would otherwise be unexceptional soul and dance tracks with truly horrid-sounding digital timbres. Their latest, Amen & Goodbye, isn't exactly a "return to form," then, but it exhibits Yeasayer's not-insignificant skill in crafting a catchy pop hook, which has always been their strongest selling point. While songs like "I Am Chemistry" and "Half Asleep" don't have the forward-looking fearlessness of All Hour Cymbals, they sound like Yeasayer have fully grown into themselves sound-wise. NED LANNAMANN
Revolution Hall, 9pm, $20, all ages
Hannah Hart
Hannah Hart is the creator and star of My Drunk Kitchen, the inspirational YouTube video series in which she cooks up a meal or snack while intoxicated. Tonight Hart comes to Powell's at Cedar Hills Crossing for a signing and photo-op in support of her new book, Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded.
Powell's Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 7pm
The Faint, Gang of Four, Pictureplane
Nebraskan dance-punks The Faint pair up with post-punk legends Gang of Four (sans Jon King) for decade-spanning evening of punk, funk, and new-wave.
Crystal Ballroom, 7:30pm, $25-30, all ages
The Naked and Famous, XYLØ
Since MGMT have readily proven that they can no longer be counted on for anything, Auckland, New Zealand's the Naked and Famous are currently your best bet for crazily infectious, bottom-heavy, arena-sized pop.
Wonder Ballroom, 8pm, $29.50-40, all ages
Thursday, Oct 27
The Secret History of Twin Peaks
Following a murder in a remote Washington State town populated by lovable weirdoes and fishes in percolators, David Lynch and Mark Frost’s Twin Peaks redefined what wonders we could expect from TV. Now Frost shares new town secrets in The Secret History of Twin Peaks, which belongs on your bookshelf beside the newly reissued Secret Diary of Laura Palmer. MEGAN BURBANK
Powell's City of Books, 7:30pm
Mic Check
The last couple Mic Check events saw solid turnout for its high-quality lineups. That’s why global talent platform Teambackpack is flying out to film a live cypher that’ll give shine to some of Portland’s most standout emcees. Performers for the October show include Illmac, Mic Capes, and Jon Belz, with other special guests including Theory Hazit and Landon Larson. And this is just the first Portland filming that Teambackpack has in store for Mic Check. Come see how it plays out, and don’t forget to turn up for the TV. JENNI MOORE
White Eagle, 10pm, $7
IPRC Benefit Party
For years, the Independent Publishing Resource Center—better known as the IPRC—has been a pillar of Portland's DIY creative scene, offering space, equipment, and training for our city's writers, artists, and zinesters. New Portland doesn't care. After being hit with a 300 percent rent increase, the IPRC took to Kickstarter and found a new space—but they could still use our support! Tonight at the Eagles Lodge, a mere $5 cover (which, natch, benefits the IPRC) gets you a night of live music by Point Juncture, WA and Jessica Dennison + Jones, plus readings by Martha Grover and Casey Jarman—and don't forget the Eagles' famously stiff drinks. Long live the IPRC! ERIK HENRIKSEN
Eagles Lodge (F.O.E.#3256), 9pm, $5
Nick Offerman
It's tough to tell where exactly lovable Parks and Recreation curmudgeon Ron Swanson ends, and actor, comedian, musician, and carpenter Nick Offerman begins. That's unlikely to get any easier tonight when Offerman comes to town to read from his latest book, Good Clean Fun, which chronicles "misadventures in sawdust at the Offerman woodshop."
Powell's Books at Cedar Hills Crossing
Bad Religion, Against Me!, Dave Hause
Bad Religion's 2013 LP True North is one of the band's more consistent releases in recent memory, a predictably catchy collection of politicized, flamboyant punk songs that rarely exceed two and a half minutes and probably sound exactly like you'd imagine—just like every other song Greg Graffin has written in the last 25 years. MORGAN TROPER
Roseland, 7:30pm, $32.50-45, all ages
Jamie Lee
Jamie Lee is best known for appearances on Girl Code and @Midnight, and Chelsea Lately, but her stand-up is as good a place as any to be wowed by not just her punchlines but her presence.
Helium Comedy Club, 8pm, 15-23
Lithics, Honey Bucket, Nail Polish
Lithics minimalist post-punk pulses and chirps, manically pushing forward and pulling back, while building insistent loops before pretending to fall apart, as vocalist Aubrey Hornor brings an understated, bordering-on-spoken-word nonchalance. This restraint, at least on record, keeps the tension high, while also keeping something bubbling below the surface, waiting. JOSHUA JAMES AMBERSON
Killingsworth Dynasty, 9pm, $5
CocoRosie, Sorne, Twin Rivers DJs
I can safely say CocoRosie is the only duet that bills itself as "freak folk, experimental hip-hopera." With sounds from electronic kids' toys, as well as real instruments, their music is melodic, haunting, and peculiar. ROSE FINN
Revolution Hall, 9pm, $22-25, all ages
The Orb, Magic Sword
The London-hailing pioneers of ambient house music bring their live show to Portland. The duo will be performing in support of their new album, COW / Chill Out, as well as in celebration of the 25th anniversary of their debut, Adventures Beyond The Ultraworld, so fans can expect to hear a career spanning set.
Star Theater, 9pm, $20
The Sonics
The legendary garage rock and proto punk band out of Tacoma swing through Dante's for a stop on their first full North American headlining tour.
Dante's, 9pm, $20