COURTNEY FERGUSON: Marjorie and I went to the Portlandia press junket yesterday. Whatever. But guys, Portlandia Mayor Kyle MacLachlan was there!!!!! This event was the culmination of 20 years of dreaming and wishing and hoping and praying that one day I would meet the man who played Special Agent Dale Cooper in Twin Peaks. The man, the legend! Creepy voyeur Jeffrey Beaumont in Blue Velvet—finder of lost ears, lover of troubled chanteuses. He who controls the spice in Dune! Owner of a very Elizabeth Berkley-chafed penis in Showgirls. Wearer of all things Scottish. Kyle's name is legion. And look up there in that pic, there I am about ready to creep the hell out of him. Except some lady did it first. As soon as Kyle walked into 23 Hoyt some aggro newspaperlady was all, "I follow you on Twitter. How was your bran muffin this morning, Kyle?" or something like that. She got the jump on my creep factor. I almost couldn't compete with that, but no worries, Blogtown readers, I was still plenty creepy.
Hit the jump for the deets on how I got an impressive piece of firewood. And creamed corn! And whatever, I guess Marjorie had some thoughts too.