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Good Morning, News: Russia Helped Trump Get Elected... and Other Newsy Stuff

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by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! On New Year's Eve at 12 o'clock we'll stop to kiss, and while the whole world will be whistle-blowin', we will still be mistle-toein'. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

An off-duty Portland cop was arrested for driving a city vehicle while intoxicated by Beaverton police.

Joseph O'Shaughnessy—who claims he wasn't involved in the occupation of the Malheur Refuge, but was merely providing them with "security"—wants to rescind his guilty plea now that his cohorts have walked.

The Blazers fell to the Indiana Pacers this weekend, losing 118-111.

ICYMI, on late Friday came the blockbuster news that a CIA investigation revealed that the Russian government was actively trying to get Trump elected, and not just attempting to undermine the electoral college. This is making top Democrats hit the fucking roof (and rightly so), along with some key Republicans (and rightly so). Meanwhile Trump himself waved his tiny hands in the air and declared the whole thing "ridiculous." (Afterward he turned away from anyone who was looking, turned beet red, and muttered sinisterly, "I'm going to GET those CIA analysts!!"


And on a COMPLETELY different topic, if former CEO of Exxon Rex Tillerson is chosen as the next Secretary of State, Russian president Vladimir Putin would be very, very, very, very pleased by that news. You know... apropos of nothing.

Apparently not all Republican senators are lapdogs for Trump, with a few forcefully speaking out against the Tillerson nomination.

China has voiced their strong concern over the way Trump (mis)handled his call to Taiwan's leader, while a Chinese newspaper kind of nailed it by calling the president-elect a "child" who is ignorant of foreign policy.

Thousands of Muslim Americans and activists will be marching on Washington today to try and persuade Obama to stop a discriminatory surveillance program before Trump gets his tiny hands on it.

Three terror attacks this weekend in Turkey, Cairo, and Mogadishu.

Thanks to Trump coming into office, abortion opponents feel they have the best chance ever to restrict a woman's right to choose, and it's pretty frightening. Support Planned Parenthood here.

The Golden Globe nominations are out—with La La Land taking the lead. Check out all the noms here.

Now let's examine the WEATHER in the sky: A possible shower today with a high of 43—but is that more SNOW I see on the horizon?

And finally, ever wonder how the world looks through Donald Trump's eyes? WONDER NO MORE, thanks to SNL and host John Cena.

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