David Bazan, Advance Base
Last month Pedro the Lion frontman David Bazan released Dark Sacred Night, a compilation of his down-tempo renditions of traditional Christmas songs. These 10 mournful covers reflect the stormier emotions the holidays can inspire. Bazan coaxes the darkness out of our annual yearning for “tidings of comfort and joy,” and instead gives us relatable melancholy. It’s okay not to feel merry and bright—especially this year. CIARA DOLAN
8 pm, Revolution Hall, $20, all ages
Last Podcast on the Left
A special live taping of the weekly podcast that explores horrors of the world—both imagined and real. Hosted by Ben Kissel, Henry Zebrowski, and Marcus Parks.
5 pm, 9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $20
Tender Loving Empire Winter Formal
Dress to impress and head over the the Alberta Abby for Tender Loving Empire's annual winter formal. TLE's set up a photo booth for the occasion, and Portland’s premier cumbia band will be on hand to make you shake body parts you didn’t even know you had.
8 pm, Alberta Abbey, $10-20
Action Movie Metal Night: Vigilante Street Justice Edition
The 7th installment of Action Movie Metal Night features a slew of local and touring metal acts shredding the night away while Death Wish2, 3, 4, and the 1989 Punisher starring Dolph Lundgren play out behind them.
9 pm, High Water Mark, $8
A Christmas Story
It’s the holiday classic that just won’t go away! SEE! A shitty little kid rip his tongue raw on an icy pole! HEAR! The glorious collection of syllables that is “Scut Farkus.” WINCE! At that super-racist scene where they go to the Chinese restaurant! CHEER! As Santa kicks a little kid in the face! Merry Christmas, everyone! BOBBY ROBERTS
Mission Theater, see Movie Times for showtimes, $2
Red Fang, Torche, Whore
Thrash the night away with a beer-soaked set from Portland heavy metal institution, Red Fang, who headline the Wonder in support of their new full-length, Only Ghosts.
9 pm, Wonder Ballroom, $23-25
Geek the Halls
No power in the 'verse could stop the PDX Browncoats from hosting yet another one of their shiny holiday craft fairs, with over 50 local makers and vendors offering up a wide array of geek-friendly gifts for you and your loved ones.
10 am, Doubletree Hotel (Lloyd Center), free
The David Liebe Hart Holiday Extravaganza
A special one-off holiday show with the 61-year-old musician and puppeteer best known for his beloved appearances on Adult Swim's Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! David will be performing traditional Christmas classics, as well as debuting some new spiritual material. Lily Sheers and James Curry IV provide support, and attendees are encouraged to come dressed in their most festive holiday garb.
6:30 pm, Velo Cult, $10-20, all ages
I'm Glad It's You, Hemingway, Lubec, Glacier Veins
I've raved about Hemingway before in the All-Ages Action! column, but I don't mind repeating myself: The group's debut Pretend to Care is an extremely solid debut that brings to mind the poppier hemisphere of the '90s emo oeuvre (specifically Weezer's Pinkerton, Knapsack, and the Promise Ring records Nothing Feels Good and Very Emergency). MORGAN TROPER
7 pm, Black Water Bar, $5, all ages
The Portland Bazaar
One of the biggest and best opportunities to shop local for the holiday season, with vendors including Wood & Faulk, Hand-Eye Supply, The Granite, Imaginary Authors, MadeHere PDX, Bridge & Burn, and many more.
10 am, The North Warehouse, free
DOA Pro Wrestling: 'Twas the Fight Before Christmas
DOA Pro Wrestling invites you to get in the holiday sprit with a night of bouts culminating in a DOA Grand Championship title fight between current DOA Grand Champion Ethan HD and Hardcore Legend Dr. Luther.
6 pm, Wattles Boys & Girls Club, $8-15, all ages
Your Fault for Listening
A live recording of the local interview show that's also a comedy podcast, with special guests Mohanad Elshieky, Neeraj Srinivasan, and Ali Reingold.
7:30 pm, Ford Food & Drink, free
Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!