Well, everybody, Monday somehow managed to be worse than we all figured.
Donald Trump was, of course, formally elected the nation's next president via the Electoral College process, despite the clamoring about "faithless electors." In fact, the bulk of those faithless electors were from Washington State, and wound up defecting against Hillary Clinton. All of Oregon's folks went for Clinton.
One bright note, a "march for electoral justice" in downtown Portland went off with minimal drama.
Then of course, Europe had a terrible day. In Turkey (I know: Eurasia), a 22-year-old police college graduate assassinated the Russian ambassador at a public event, shouting "don't forget Aleppo, don't forget Syria!" Cops killed the man. Officials are calling it a terrorist assassination.
Read this first-hand account from an AP photographer who kept taking pictures during the awful incident.
In Berlin, someone—it's not clear who right now—ran a semi truck into a crowded Christmas market, killing 12. Cops arrested a refugee from Pakistan near the scene, but have said they're not certain he was involved. A man was found fatally wounded in the cab of the truck. German Chancellor Angela Merkel says it's a terrorist attack, though no one's formally claimed responsibility.
And, great. In Switzerland, someone stormed into a mosque often used by Somalis and opened fire. Three people were seriously injured, and police say a body was found nearby.
Locally, Oregon City students get busted for snapchatting themselves being horribly racist. Just the latest epithet-tinged incident to bubble out of OC schools.
And Portland police say a 65-year-old man who was being evicted from his North Portland apartment shot two employees of the complex. Both should survive.
You should read the O's story from the weekend about a former state trooper who was able to pull every lever of privilege imaginable to get criminal charges for slapping his son reduced. The effort almost allowed James Duncan the ability to own a gun, which might have given him a shot at getting a job as a cop again. No dice. A Tillamook County judge ruled yesterday Duncan has to remain unarmed for now.
SOME GOOD NEWS: China gave back the nautical drone, y'all. Against Trump's wishes.
It's not snowing anymore! Just, you know, raining hard enough to produce a landslide in Tigard that's closed part of northbound 99W. Probably flooding, too.
Tupac Shakur and Electric Light Orchestra are among the incoming inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and rightly so. What follows are their best songs. This is incontrovertible.