Die Hard
Somewhere around a decade back, it became fashionable to answer “Die Hard” when asked “What’s your favorite Christmas movie?” People would laugh and go, “Yeah, I guess that counts.” But then—like bacon, unicorns, and LOLcats—the shit got played the fuck out, to the point where people now say “anything but fuckin’Die Hard. God! Ugh!” Here’s the thing, though: No matter how many corny dipshits might vomit up this title as their go-to response? They’re not wrong. You could do a hell of a lot worse than arguably the single best action film ever made as your pick. So pull up a seat, kick off your shoes, and make some fists with your toes. Christmas has a machine gun. Ho-ho-ho. BOBBY ROBERTS
5:30 pm, 8:15 pm, Mission Theater, $3-4
Because, Pt. Juncture WA, Swansea
Mississippi Studios presents an evening with with the experimental bedroom pop project of Radiaton City's Randy Bemrose, featuring members of The Shins, Sama Dams, and members of Radiation City both past and present.
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, $5
Sam Henry's 60th Birthday: Poison Idea, Napalm Beach, Don't
The Liquor Store celebrates legendary drummer Sam Henry's 60th birthday with a stacked show that doubles as a crash course in Portland punk rock history.
9 pm, The Liquor Store, $15
Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Máscaras, Ah God
The wonderfully garage-y Portland favorites Wooden Indian Burial Ground are a model of consistency. As a flag-bearer for the kind of reverbed, multi-pedaled psych proffered by bands like Thee Oh Sees or Ty Segall, WIBG have upped the ante on their new album, How’s Your Favorite Dreamer? Originally released in February, the LP traverses spastic psycho-rock on tunes like “Spazz Pony” and “Sad Mutations”—two of the record’s early breakout tracks. Frontman Justin Fowler’s manic guitar leads the charge, squirting bizarre squeals in walls of effects. The rhythm section is renowned, too, and bassist Samuel Farrell and drummer Daniel Galucki provide a rock-solid foundation for Fowler’s unrestrained six-string dalliances. RYAN J. PRADO
9 pm, Doug Fir, $6-10
Stand-Up Confidential
Helium hosts this top-secret stand-up showcase, featuring a carefully chosen, hand-picked lineup of nationally touring comics doing special one-off shows just for tonight. On the list for this installment: A comic with both Netflix and Showtime specials on his resume, one with appearances on Comic View and The Late Late Show, and one who has sat across from Marc Maron on WTF and lived to tell the tale.
8 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $15-23
Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!