by Anonymous
Dear, security guard who works at Doug Fir Lounge. While enjoying a night out listening to some great local bands you decided to kick me out of the club because in your words I was being too aggressive because I said you had a bad case of coffee breath. I asked you nicely out of respect to give the drummer a gift for his talent after the set. You kicked me out of the Doug Fir after I told you had stink breath from the cheap coffee you were drinking. I understand that you gave up drinking for New Years and replaced it with coffee but dude you need to get laid or something fast because your a total jerk when all you drink is coffee. Also your co-workers think your coffee breath is nasty too.