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“Do What You Do Best—Advising People on How to Pee on Each Other.” Here Are...
by Erik Henriksen via Jill2016.comRE: “Dan Savage on Jill Stein: Just No” [Blogtown, July 19], a transcript of the Savage Lovecast podcast in which Savage urged listeners not to vote for Green Party...
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Enter the Mercury’s PETS IN ACTION Photo Contest!
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Do you have a pet? A pet that loves ACTION? How about a pet that pretends to love ACTION? Then enter your pooch, cat, ferret, fish, parrot, turtle, or whatever in the Mercury’s...
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Here's What Powell's Has Planned for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
by Erik Henriksen Every night I wake up screaming, my skin slicked with icy sweat. "WHAT THE FUCK," I scream, "HAS HARRY POTTER BEEN UP TO?" My windows rattle in their frames; the paint on my...
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Sizzle Pie Is Expanding to Pizza-No-Man's-Land, New York City
by Ned Lannamann News broke this week that local pizza chain Sizzle Pie is bringing their pizza to New York City, a city with no recognizable gustatory tradition and a place that totally certainly...
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This Week's Style Events
by Elizabeth Mollo Laptops and Smalltalk are holding a launch party to celebrate the start of their new venture, which is an online platform for emerging designers and fashion brands that educate and...
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Bad Moms: Motherhood Through Bro-Colored Glasses
by Kjerstin Johnson In Bad Moms, Amy (Mila Kunis) is a working mother of two who, out of exhaustion, rejects the perfect-mom paradigm. She joins forces with single-mom Carla (Kathryn Hahn) and...
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Meet Patty Wagon, the Portland Burger Week Car
by Bri Brey We dressed up a Mini Cooper like a cheeseburger for Portland Burger Week! Why? Don't you mean WHY NOT?!?!Meet Patty Wagon, Portland! #PattyWagon lives! Bri BreyIf you see us around town...
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Timbers v. Sporting Kansas City Match Preview
by Abe Asher Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY SportsFor the very first time since the beginning of the 2015 season, the Portland Timbers will start an MLS match with neither Nat Borchers nor Liam Ridgewell on...
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There's Now a Whole Book About Your Nice Dad Tim Kaine
by Megan Burbank Tim Kaine: He's got the face of a man who would always give you a ride to the airport.Kevin Cupp via Wikimedia CommonsSara Benincasa, a comedian and author of a bunch of books...
View ArticleHow Hillary Was Shrunk
by Jen Graves Late last night, when the house finally fell quiet, I listened to Hillary Clinton's speech. In the middle of listening, my husband recommended we press pause on Hillary 2016 and switch...
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Trump Says You Have to Vote for him Even if you Don't Like Him
by Matt Baume "Hey baby, you wanna be Chief Justice?"Debby Wong / Shutterstock.comYou know that quintessential '80s villain archetype who sidles up to a lady and thrusts his body against her and coos,...
View ArticleBroad City Celebrates Hillary (As Women from 1776)
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Last night's Democratic nominee acceptance speech by Hillary Clinton was definitely a historic moment for women and humanity—which is why Stephen Colbert asked the ladies of...
View ArticleWearing Sunglasses Inside
by Anonymous The fuck is wrong with you people? Unless you are in a sunglasses store or have a medical condition, there is no reason to wear them indoors. You don't look cool and we purposely ignore...
View ArticleThanks for Nothing
by Anonymous "Thrive"That's a pretty ironic mission statement seeing as it appears the entire your insurance company is helping me vastly decline in my downward spiral. I was sexually assaulted, it...
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Woody Allen: From Auteur to Short-Order Breakfast Cook
by Ned Lannamann Woody Allen makes movies with the speed and precision of a short-order breakfast cook. Year after year, he churns out pancake after pancake for an undemanding diner crowd, with Café...
View ArticleI Won't Be Voting this November, and Here's Why
by Anonymous I had planned on voting for Trump this November, but my mind changed a few days ago...Underneath the shade of my "Don't Tread on Me" flag, my car sat parked. I had purchased two bumper...
View ArticleGotta Bring My Jams!
by Anonymous This rant isn't specifically for Portland, or Oregon but I'm so fucking sick of people that feel they must bring stereos to places like the beach, river etc. And then they turn it up for...
View ArticleRich People and their Children
by Anonymous Plastic Surgery means mom and dad have the moola to pay for you to be beautiful like the Hollywood babes and the runway models. You see, they love you anyway, but want you to be happy....
View ArticleVery Important Ice Cream
by Anonymous I watched you pull your enormous white Lexus SUV (with California plates no less) out of the neighbors driveway while you chomped away on your freshly scooped cone. Are you really so...
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Things To Do This Week!
Things to do for Aug 1-Aug 4. by Bobby Roberts August is certainly stepping through the door with a swagger, boasting a week's worth of amazing—and amazingly unique and original—comedy from the...
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