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Timbers Loan Lucas Melano Back To Argentina
by Abe Asher Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland TimbersThe Lucas Melano Era in Portland is over. The Timbers announced today that they have loaned the 23-year-old winger back to his hometown club of Belgrano...
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It Is Happening Again: New Twin Peaks Premiere Date Announced
by Sean Nelson Welcome back, welcome back, welcome ba-a-a-ack. May 21 on Showtime.This news just arrived on Twitter: TWIN PEAKS RETURNS ON MAY 21 WITH 2-HOUR PREMIERE! #TwinPeaks#TCA17— Twin Peaks 🦉...
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Yes, It's True: Iconic Portland Dive Bar Club 21 Is Closing
by Ned Lannamann FacebookWhen we last checked in with the folks at Club 21, there was hope that the building—long under threat of demolition, due to the property owners' plans to building on the site...
View ArticleAvoid The Downtown Crown
by Anonymous The day began like any other day at that downtown hotel restaurant: coffee cups cleaned and aprons tightened; silverware settings straightened and tensions heightened. The pace had been...
View ArticleBabbling Buffoons
by Anonymous What is it with the 60 year old men in this city?You all look alike. You all have gray facial hair and a pot belly. You all wear hats. You all smell like an ashtray Worst of all, you all...
View ArticleMeek Computer Geek Reeks
by Anonymous If you all haven't heard about the old Right-wing white guy in Lake Oswego (Kevin Kerwin), you should check him out. He's name-calling Liberals (typical right-wing behavior) and...
View ArticleGood Morning, News: Sessions Confirmation Hearing, Trump's Nepotism, and...
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Thugs give good loving (oh). Whoa, you're supersonic. The way he treats me different, oh, like he bionic. LET'S GO TO PRESS.In case you missed our news...
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Things to Do Tonight!
by Mercury Staff Kung Fu Theater: 36th Chamber of Shaolin This month’s installment in Dan Halsted’s ongoing celebration of all things whoop-ass is a rare 35mm print of what many consider to be the...
View ArticleWatch: Jeff Sessions's Confirmation Hearing
by Rich Smith It's Jeff Sessions's confirmation hearing day! So far, the longtime senator and former Attorney General of Alabama who was too much of a racist for a Republican-led committee to approve...
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Bands I Pretended to Like for Boys: Part Five: Grateful Dead
by Kathleen Tarrant The Dead got me. I tried to escape them.I need to preface this by saying that I ate a great deal of Cherry Garcia ice cream growing up. My dad loves Cherry Garcia. He does not, you...
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Fox News Reportedly Helped Bill O'Reilly Scuttle a Sexual Harassment Suit
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Courtesy Fox NewsBill O'Reilly, loudmouth host of The O'Reilly Factor on Fox News, was accused of sexual harassment by a fellow Fox employee—but network executives hushed up...
View Article"Perhaps It Is Trump Who Is The Loser???"— You
by Anonymous I keep seeing headlines about how sad Trump is, how he has no famous friends, how he's weak, how he's thin-skinned, how he only won because Russia leaked the Podesta emails. But consider...
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Jeff Sessions Dodges Question About Whether He'll Go After Legalized Weed
by Rich Smith Still not sure what time it is on weed's doomsday clock.The Stranger During the Senate hearing to nominate Jeff Sessions as Attorney General, Senator Leahy of Vermont asked if Sessions...
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Rex Tillerson to Humans: You Must Adapt to Global Warming
by Charles Mudede "A cloud of pollution [caused by capitalism] hangs over the Eastern United States..."NASAIn 2012, Rex Tillerson, ExxonMobil's CEO, and Trump's pick for the next Secretary of State,...
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Intelligence Chiefs Informed Trump of Russian Plan to Compromise Him
by Megan Burbank istock / macidaJust when you thought the worst political news was happening at Jeff "I Don't Know What Sexual Assault Is" Sessions'confirmation hearing. Here's CNN, from an article...
View ArticleIntel Chiefs to President-Elect: Um, Dude, the Russians Have a Compromising...
by Dan Savage What was that, CNN?Classified documents presented last week to President Obama and President-elect Trump included allegations that Russian operatives claim to have compromising personal...
View ArticleGrass and the Gridiron
Cannabis could help NFL players with work-related injuries, but the league prohibits it. by Vince Sliwoski Can NFL playersuse weed to treat their work-related injuries?NO. THE NFL prohibits its...
View ArticleSold Out
Valentine’s Day is coming... do you have your lingerie? by Elizabeth Mollo VALENTINE’S DAY is not too far away, and that particular holiday is synonymous with flowers, candy, and more importantly,...
View ArticleCanna News for 2017
City bureau shakeups, canna dollars, and CBD across the pond. by Josh Jardine HAPPY 2017! If your New Year’s resolution is to stay more up to date with all that’s happening in the world of cannabis,...
View ArticleI, Anonymous
Herbal Pine Deodorant™... for when you really care. by Anonymous I HAVEN’T DATED in over a year. It’s not something I think about on a regular basis—I spend most nights watching old home movies from...
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