Feeling thirsty and hangry? So was the gang from The Walking Dead last night! This was probably the lowest point for the gang in quite awhile (though I think one can sink much lower than eating live worms—but that's just me). Anyway, let's chitty chat about it, what do you say? Hit the jump for a lot of spoilerific hot recap action, and let's get CHITTY CHATTING!
MORE AFTER THE JUMP!
Here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode, "Them."
1) It's been three weeks since Beth's death at the hospital, and Tyreese's zombie bite—which I'm sorry, but he should've seen coming from a mile away! Anyway, the gang is on the loooooooong, hot road to Washington, with no food, no water, and frankly not much of a reason to live. Sasha is PISSED over Tyreese's death, while Daryl can't feel anything at all about Beth. Meanwhile Reverend McChickenshit tries to cheer up Maggie with some Bible verses, and she rightly tells him to take his G-O-D and shove it up his B-U-T-T. That was awesome.
2) Meanwhile, a small horde of zombies are following them at a distance, but Rick makes the call to wait until the right moment to dispatch them, in order to save their energy. The right moment comes along when they reach a bridge, and basically just use pee-wee football style feints to make the zombies tumble off the cliff. (Kinda makes you think they should've been doing this the entire time, DON'T IT?) Anyway, Sasha fucks up this plan by going on a zombie skull stabbing rampage, and almost gets into a throw-down with Michonne who encourages her to chill the eff OUT. The good news? G.I. Ginger finds some booze! (Hey, it's not water... but on the upside, it is BOOZE.)
3) Oh, hello, pack of WILD DOGS. Everybody picks up their knives to defend themselves, but Sasha wisely says, "This is a job for my automatic rifle." Bam-bam-bam, and within minutes, "this Chihuahua tastes just like chicken!"
4) Daryl traipses off into the woods to be alone with his thoughts and to burn his hand with a cigarette. (This is what hillbillies do to get in touch with their feelings instead of going to therapy. And for him? It works! Don't try this at home, folks... individual results may vary.)
5) SO! Maggie has HAD it. Sasha has HAD it. Rev. McChickenshit has HAD it. And Daryl has HAD it. (In fact the only person not crying like a baby is Baby Judith.) And just when everybody is at their lowest point—here comes a rainstorm! Yayyyyyyy! But, of course, it's an insanely terrible rainstorm. Booooooo! So off they run to a nearby barn, which would've been a great stroke of luck, if it weren't for the super huge horde of zombies forcing their way in. As the storm gets worse and worse, the zombies push harder, and the entire gang fights for their lives, pushing as hard as they can against the door. Except for Baby Judith who's just lying around. GET UP AND HELP YOU LAZY BABY!
6) Morning comes, and... what happened to the zombies? Seems a fortuitously huge and selective tornado whipped past the barn, sending all the zombies to OZ, but sparing everyone inside. MAN, THAT WAS LUCKY, HUH? (Eye roll.) Maggie and Sasha take this as a sign that.. maybe? Someone "up there" is looking out for them! (All together now... BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! That was terrible. Everyone who approved this decision should be arrested.)
7) But then? Out of nowhere a creepy friendly person walks up, saying, "Oh, hi! I'm just a creepy-looking friendly person who came out of nowhere dressed in brand new Columbia Sportswear gear. WHO WANTS A HUG?" Aaaaaaaand... scene.
8) Despite that hackneyed tornado/deux ex machina scene, I thought this was a pretty good episode—because you rarely see the gang fighting to stay alive to the point of Daryl eating live worms. I'd totally eat a worm, too, if I were in their position. WOULD YOU?? And while you're leaving your opinion about that in the comments, tell me what you think of that new creepy Columbia Sportswear guy. Are we being suckered again? Or is he just as creepy as he looks? I VOTE MUY CREEPY. See you next week!