It's not too often that a 100% bonafide legitimate goddamned national treasure comes rolling through town. Sure, it happens every now and again, but even then, it's almost never on the level of historical significance at which Weird Al resides. And if you're the kind of person (philistine) who doesn'tconsider Mr. Yankovic to be a national treasure (you're wrong he is shut up and have a fucking seat, philistine), well, that's alright I guess—there's still so many things to do this week that you're bound to find something that will more closely align with your (warped and malformed) entertainment tastes! Like, for example, a big fat birthday party (with cake and slushies and everything!) for one of Portland's best bars! Or the return of Ron Funches, cuddly comedian extraordinaire! You could indulge in the wine cooler-fueled neon majesty of Miami Vice, or maybe you wanna keep it simple, and just hang out on the waterfront and drink a river's worth of craft beer. And if that's not the kind of thirst you're looking to have quenched, there's a whole city's worth of hip-hop to drink in at The Know! And that's not even the half of it. Hit the menu below, and choose wisely.
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Monday Jul 25
Edna Vazquez
When one gets the opportunity to hear the gorgeous vocals of Edna Vazquez (especially for FREE), one should jump at the opportunity. Her take on Mexican traditional folk music is both velvety smooth and chilling. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Sellwood Riverfront Park, SE Spokane & Oaks Pkwy, 6:30pm, free
Benjamin Francis Leftwich, Vikesh Kapoor
The English singer-songwriter headlines the Doug Fir in support of his long-awaited second album, After the Rain.
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9pm, $13-15
Sculpture Club, 20XX, Acracy, Drunken Palms
Sculpture Club opens their latest LP A Place to Stand with a rolling drum beat, a warbled guitar, and vocalist Chaz Costello singing, "Wear black, drink too much coffee/I wanna be proud of the choices I'm making/but I just wear black, drink too much coffee." Let's just take a second to appreciate how freaking goth that is. We're not talking Kanye Season One and Nike-wearing cool-goth—we're talking buying used Cure CDs and Sharpie-ing your fingernails in a mall food court with a mouthful of Sbarro breadsticks goth. The Salt Lake City post-punk trio started in 2011 as a garage rock duo then called JAWWZZ, having only changed their name this past spring. Their new name begins on the best of notes with an LP that delivers catchy hook after catchy hook. The band has also amassed a reputation around their wild live shows that have featured rose-wrapped mics, confetti cannons, and glitter, a concept drummer Madison Donnelly described to Salt Lake City Weekly as a "dance party to keep from crying." CAMERON CROWELL
Anarres Infoshop, 7101 N Lombard, 7pm, $3-5
Tess Gallagher, Larry Matsuda
A reading from their new book, Boogie-Woogie Crisscross, an intercontinental collaboration that reads like a poetry jam exchange between the two acclaimed writers.
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30pm
The Third Man
Everyone thinks of The Third Man as an Orson Welles movie—despite the fact Welles neither wrote nor directed it, and despite the fact he doesn't even show up until the film's already been rolling for a long stretch. In true Welles style, once he does show up, he makes everyone else seem superfluous. As Harry Lime—an ostensibly dead expat in a Vienna that's rubbled and scarred from WWII—Welles is both sinister and mischievous, charming and menacing; all he needs to do to catch everyone off-guard, be they onscreen or in the theater, is give his brow an impish twist or take a quick step forward. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7pm, $9
Oh Pep!, Sunbathe
The Revolution Hall rooftop hosts an evening of folk and pop from Olivia Hally and Pepita Emmerichs, the Melbourne, Australia-hailing duo who perform under the stage name, Oh Pep!
Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark #110, 7pm, $12
Tuesday Jul 26
Taking Back Tuesday
Dust off your My Chemical Romance T-shirt, apply excessive eyeliner, and get ready to shamelessly scream Dashboard Confessional lyrics at Holocene's new bi-monthly emo night, Taking Back Tuesday. Know all the words to "Sic Transit Gloria"? You're ready. XxscenexX forever. BRI BREY
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9pm, $7
Grindhouse Film Festival: Zombie
This month's entry into the Grindhouse canon is a rare 35mm print of Zombie, Lucio Fulci's 1979 gross-out epic, known among film fans as both "that one where a zombie gets in a fistfight with a fucking shark," and "that one where a woman slowly has her eyeball shoved into the biggest splinter of all time." It's by no means one of the best bits of zombie fiction, but it's sure as hell a memorable one. BOBBY ROBERTS
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30pm, $9
The Book of Grace
Profile and CoHo present this staged reading of Suzan-Lori Parks play as part of Profile's 2016 Tanya Barfield season. Also read our article on Profile Theatre's upcoming shows.
CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh, 7:30pm, free w/ rsvp
Dubais, Mattress, Strange Babes DJs
Berlin-based artist Nadia Buyse brings her dark, disco-tinged bedroom pop project to the Know.
The Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 8pm
The Psychedelic Furs, The Church
Classy '80s-rock-nostalgia alert. England's Psychedelic Furs have had more stateside commercial success than Australians the Church, but the two bands make for a copacetic double bill. The Furs' first two albums—The Psychedelic Furs and Talk Talk Talk—form a bruising diptych of charred glam and ruefully melodic post-punk. The Church—who elegantly rock in a slightly melancholic, slightly psychedelic vein—have been quietly building a formidable catalog over the last 34 years. This may not be their Heyday, but they still have much to offer. DAVE SEGAL
Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark #110, 8pm, $39.50-139.50
Richard Buckner, Kory Quinn
The California-based singer-songwriter and Merge Records signee brings his established brand of alt-county to the Mississippi Studios stage.
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9pm, $12-14
Dungeon Brothers, Elliott Thomas, Dreckig
Dungeon Brothers' eponymous debut LP features a graphic of some kind of lizard king sitting on a throne covered with melted candle wax and wielding a double-bladed axe while a grinning gargoyle perches on its arm. With this imagery and emcee names like Sludge and Homunculus, it's little wonder why Dungeon Brothers have failed to generate huge amounts of buzz in a hip-hop community trying to gain serious footing. This is a huge bummer, seeing as how Dungeon Brothers' songs are comprised of some of the smoothest, funniest flows this side of MC Chris, even mired as they are in sci-fi/fantasy realms. Tracks as immediately engaging as "Elephant Graveyards" or "My Apothecary" would be incredible all on their own. Throw in that the duo performs behooded in dark cloaks like wizard-worshipping Beasties, and Sludge and Homunculus are easily one of the best underground hip-hop projects happening in Portland. Now you know, and may the lizard king help us all. RYAN J. PRADO
The Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont, 9pm
Wednesday Jul 27
Re-run Theater: Vice Fest 5
People talk about the current “golden age of television,” but some of us know the truth: The real golden age of TV was 1984-1990, or, as historians call it, “The Miami Vice Era.” Tonight, Re-Run Theater hosts its fifth annual Miami Vice Fest, with two first-season classics on the big screen: “Smuggler’s Blues,” guest-starring Glenn Frey, and “No Exit,” starring a villainous Bruce Willis! There’ll also be ’80s commercials, wine coolers, and, natch, Crockett and Tubbs, hallowed be their names. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30pm, $9
One side effect of being a city that can host an enormous, bountiful beer festival is that you’re already a city where practically every bar is ready to pour good beer at any time of day—with minimal lines. So, by all means, go to this year’s Oregon Brewers Festival. Just go on Wednesday, before the masses descend. DIRK VANDERHART
Tom McCall Waterfront Park, SW Naito & Oak, 12pm, $7
Máscaras, Boone Howard, Roselit Bone
Máscaras' psychedelic sound makes you want to dance, and it's infused with Latin rhythm, punk heart, and an all-around melodic sturdiness that makes the instrumental jams just plain good. ROBIN BACIOR
Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9:30pm, $5-10
Thirsty City
A special edition of the monthly hip-hop showcase, highlighting artists involved in the MUC2PDX Beat Tape collaboration, blending beats and rhymes from Portland and Munich.
The Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 8:45pm, $5
Syndicate, Kapital, Steel Chains, Mr. Wrong
The Oakland-hailing post punk trio Syndicate play an all ages show at the Black Water bar in support of their debut album, Vol. 1.
Black Water Bar, 835 NE Broadway, 8pm, $6
The Hugs, Space Shark, Ellis Pink
Portland's the Hugs have been bashing out catchy, '60s-influenced pop for years, and get better and tighter with every release. MARK LORE
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30pm, $8
Don Frost
Don Frost isn't a traditional stand up. He doesn't write jokes or routines. He just gets up there and goes right off the rails, ranting on whatever catches his mind's eye. It's different every time—but every time it's tremendous. ANDREW R TONRY
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, 8pm, $5
Thursday Jul 28
Ron Funches
Like so many of our finest comedians, the hilarious Ron Funches tried to leave Portland, but CAN’T STAY AWAY. Though he lives in LA now (and is even in that new Justin Timberlake movie!), tonight’s your chance to see the local legend for free as part of Leafly’s weed-subsidized comedy hour. MEGAN BURBANK
Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 8pm, free w/ rsvp
Weird Al Yankovic
It says a lot that despite decades, "Weird Al" Yankovic is still the only guy who can do what he does as well as he does. From Dr. Demento to UHF to CD to YouTube, the ever-adapting, ever-clever Weird Al's still around, still being great. You know what that makes him? AN IRREPLACEABLE CULTURAL ICON AND A MUSICAL AND COMEDIC GENIUS. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey, 6:30pm, $40-70, all ages
Dig a Pony's Fifth Birthday: The Ghost Ease, Cat Hoch, Lithics, Strange Babes DJs
Just because you’re all grown up doesn’t mean you can’t go to an old-fashioned birthday party. Inner Southeast haunt Dig a Pony hits the big half-decade mark tonight, and there’s going to be cake and slushies and food specials. Oh, and booze (of course), plus great loud music from the Ghost Ease, Cat Hoch, and Lithics, PLUS the Strange Babes DJs will be spinning tunes throughout the night! NED LANNAMANN
Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand, 8pm, free
BJ the Chicago Kid, Elhae
An all ages show with the R&B and soul singer-songwriter Bryan James Sledge, better known by his stage name BJ the Chicago Kid.
Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 9pm, $18, all ages
Erica Westly
Westly reads from her new book, Fastpitch, which offers an in-depth look at the 129-year history of softball, and a profile of women who helped shape the game into one of the most widely played sports in the world.
Powell's Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne, 7:30pm
Mic Check
Starchile hosts this celebration of Portland's hip-hop community, with performances from Serge Severe, Rashad Jamal, and more.
White Eagle, 836 N Russell, 10pm, $5-7
Boobie Sign: A Burlesque Tribute to MST3K
Crush Bar is transformed into the Satellite of Love for a burlesque tribute to Mystery Science Theater 3000. Featuring performances by Layne Fawkes, Loxie Arcane, Domino DeSoto, Ophelia Bouch, Mona DePlume, Whisper De Corvo, Honey Tangerine. Hosted by Buck Fuddy.
Buck Fuddy, Buck Fuddy Buck Fuddy, Buck Fuddy, $15 Buck Fuddy