Good Morning, News: Jury Selection for Ammon Bundy, Trouble for Brock Turner, and Another New iPhone (Yawn)

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Baby, I'm the kind of man who shows concern. (Yes I do.) Anyway that I can please you, let me learn. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

As we told you yesterday, some real effing a-holes toppled the "Duckbill" pedestal rock formation at Cape Kiwanda Park—and now the cops are hot on their trail.

In other effing a-hole news: The trial of Ammon Bundy and six other effing a-holes responsible for last year's Malheur Refuge takeover is about to start and jury selection is beginning.

Portland musician Joel Magid confessed on Facebook to committing a sexual assault, and releases a hornet's nest of controversy.

A member of the "Krude Rude Brood"has been sentenced to 55 years in prison after torturing an enemy—which included taking a belt sander to one of the victim's tattoos.

Sooooo... did Donald Trump effectively bribe a Florida Republican running for the state's attorney general position? Here's a good breakdown of what happened.

Apparently fed up with the Trump brand of shitty conservatism, the Koch Bros. are opening up a school to groom the next generation of conservatives.

The Dallas Morning News endorses a Democratic candidate for the first time in 76 years #Demshttps://t.co/PN6alfTnJYpic.twitter.com/FxMPEmqWbn
— UPROXX (@UPROXX) September 7, 2016

Convicted sex offender Brock Turner may have gotten out of jail waaaaay too early—but he's paying for it in various other ways. Such as armed anarchists showing up at his house threatening to castrate him.

If this is something you care about anymore, a new iPhone (presumably without a headphone jack) will be announced today.

The US women's national soccer team has suspended goalie Hope Solo due to the "sum of her actions"—not just calling the Swedish team a bunch of "cowards" following their Olympic match.

Fox News is paying out the nose for their alleged sexually harassing boss, Roger Ailes. According to reports they settled with former anchor Gretchen Carlson for a hefty $20 million.

Bruce Springsteen has opened up about his battles with severe depression early in his career.

Now let's examine the WEATHER outside: Mostly cloudy with a high of 72!

And finally, why can't you be as heroic as this chemistry student who, when challenged by his teacher to make a near impossible shot in order to get everyone in the class an A+ on their first test, DRILLS IT.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]