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Dear Justin Bieber: Would You Like Some Salve for that Burn?

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Selena Gomez (former Disney princess—who still looks kind of like a Barbie doll if you ask me—and star of Spring Breakers which is pretty goddamn AWESOME [read my review of that in tomorrow's Mercury]) went on David Letterman and delivered what I would call a third-degree burn on her ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber. Cue 17,000 Twitter death threats... now.

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