I Promise To...
by Anonymous ... in the most polite possible way, with cold efficiency, smash your driver's side window in with my U-lock grab the telephone from your hands, and smash it right there in front of you....
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Timbers Go Quietly in Sweltering DC
by Abe Asher Brad Mills-USA TODAY SportsLast Sunday, down a man against Sporting Kansas City, the Portland Timbers dug deep. This weekend at RFK Stadium against DC United? Not so much.Blame the...
View ArticlePokemon Go? Again?
by Anonymous Recently I've just been having a hard time understanding the appeal of Pokemon Go. What's the appeal of running around town for a chance to catch a Pidgey or a Weedle when you only see...
View ArticleThings To Do Comedy
Funny things to do for August 16-28 by Chipp Terwilliger Curtis Cook's Going Away Show Curtis Cook’s one of the best stand-ups in town, so his impending move down the comedy success train to LA...
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Things To Do This Week!
Things to do for Aug 15-18. by Bobby Roberts There's an old saying, I think it comes from the Bible, that goes "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." This week, that saying gets updated by some of...
View ArticleGood Morning, News: Usain Bolt Bolts, Trump's Russian Money Scandal, and Gays...
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I heard she's not all that to you, 'cause she can't do it like I do. LET'S GO TO PRESS.A Portland couple builds a tiny house to beat the housing...
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Pet Issue: At-Home Euthanasia Helps Pet Owners Grieve and Heal
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Katie TurnerASK ANYONE who’s ever made the decision to put a pet to sleep—it’s incredibly difficult and heartbreaking. When I was growing up, any family pets that were...
View ArticleSleazy Rider
by Anonymous To the 20-something wannabe “biker” who was passing stopped cars on the right at red lights on Alberta last weekend on his motorcycle: learn the law or go back to riding your fixie. When...
View ArticleSavage Love Letter of the Day: Daddy's Pretend Girl Worried About Daddy's...
by Dan Savage I am sexually aroused by daddy/daughter role-play. I have no experience with it, but for many years have been extremely turned on by the idea of having sex with a man who pretends to be...
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Today in Stupid: Another Newspaper Apologizes for Another Shitty, Insensitive...
by Jennifer Campbell Pavel L Photo and Video / Shutterstock.comSimone Manuel won a gold medal in the 100-meter freestyle in Rio yesterday, making her the first African-American woman to win an...
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Yale Union's End of Summer Residency Program Bridges Portland and Japan
by Eleanor Ford Sayaka Ohata@ENDOFSUMMER (INSTAGRAM)Though you might not know it, August will be a very engaging month for international contemporary art in Portland. A brand-new residency program...
View ArticleWhat Do You Know: Millennial Voters Flocking to Clinton
by Dan Savage USA TODAY:Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton is consolidating the support of the Millennials who fueled Bernie Sanders' challenge during the primaries, a new USA TODAY/Rock...
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Oh Shit Pete! WATCH OUT
by Erik Henriksen Anyone looking to compare this Pete’s Dragon with the 1977 original would do well not to—in part because the 1977 version is garbage, and in part because this remake is an entirely...
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Burger Week 2016 is Over, How Does It Feel?
by Bri Brey WOW. After six days of Portland Burger Week we are feeling... let's just say... slow. But we're so grateful to everyone who helped make this year's Burger Week the biggest, meatiest, most...
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A Fleeting Utopia
by Ciara Dolan PFARMERS But what do they pfarm?SHAUN GIBSONNOT LONG AGO, in the dusty deserts of Central Oregon, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh—an Indian philosophy professor turned entrepreneurial spiritual...
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I Will Never Vote for Donald Trump... But I Might Vote for This Trump T-shirt?
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey This weekend I saw a guy walking around the airport dressed in this t-shirt—and it made me have FEELINGS!At first I was like, "Boy, that guy flew into the wrong city." But then...
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The POTUS Mix Tape Shows Us the "Real America"
by C. Davida Ingram The POTUS mix is available on Spotify, which means none of the artists will be paid much, if at all, but think of the exposure!I have what I feel is a healthy emotional (rather...
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Why Seven Is the Perfect Number for a Social Media Trending Topic
by Ned Lannamann The popular “#first7jobs” trending hashtag/meme popped up around Twitter a couple weeks ago, with an expanded Facebook counterpart following suit. I didn’t post mine because it seemed...
View ArticleThings to Do Food
How to Eat, Drink, and Be Merry for Aug 20-28 by Mercury Staff 13th Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest You won't win the Zach's Shack Hot Dog Eating Contest. You won't even place. But you don't enter the...
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Let Us Welcome Our New Hillary Clinton Style Instagram Overlords
by Megan Burbank Hillary Clinton's white pantsuit at the Democratic National Convention: a sartorial nod to the Suffragettes?Ali Shaker/VOA via Wikimedia CommonsWhile I am generally not in favor of...
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