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Jewsbury To Retire At Conclusion of 2016 Season
by Abe Asher Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland TimbersIt's the end of an era.The Portland Timbers' first captain, first goalscorer, and first trophy-winner is walking away. Jack Jewsbury will retire at the...
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Check Out These Pics from the Mercury's "Undisputable Geniuses of Comedy" Event!
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Guys! If you were in attendance at Friday night's SOLD OUT performance of the "Undisputable Geniuses of Comedy" at Revolution Hall, congratulations! Because you had a freaking...
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Record Review: Sheers, Sheers
by Ciara Dolan HASAN MAHMOODCOSMIC JAZZINESS pulses through Portland art-pop duo Sheers’ self-titled debut. Frontwoman Lily Breshears is known for her work with Big Haunt and Haley Heynderickx, but...
View ArticleSavage Love Letter of the Day: What's in a Ring?
by Dan Savage Originally posted on October 22, 2014.I'm a twentysomething married trans guy in an openish marriage. In the online hunt for a guy to have some aboveboard, under-the-sheets fun with, I...
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Neil deGrasse Tyson Talks Ignorance, Dragons, Ibsen, and Ben DeLaCreme. You...
Neil deGrasse Tyson will appear in Portland Tue-Wed Sept 19-20. He is good. by Matt Baume Neil deGrasse Tyson will appear in Portland Tue-Wed Sept 19-20. He is good.Neil deGrasse Tyson is okay with...
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Things To Do Tonight 9/19
by Mercury Staff Neil deGrasse Tyson From the rebooted Cosmos to Twitter, astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson brings logic and inspiration to a time that often feels mired in fear and superstition....
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TBA Reviews: She's In Parties Was Not Much Of A Party After All
by Robert Ham Outside of the installations in the space, the live performances often felt like they were getting swallowed up by the huge room. Briana CerezoThe chatter of this year's TBA Fest kept...
View ArticleShitbrew of Growing Brewery Rules
by Anonymous The life by dog, child and the R&R of brewery chill is dead in Portland. This fucking town has shaped itself in to boxes of theatrical shitshows flaunting dingleberry wheat ale where...
View ArticleI Love Murder Mystery
by Anonymous So lately there have been updated stories of the JonBenet case. I never knew the story growing up, especially in the part of the U.S. I grew up in. It just wasn't part of my world....
View ArticleI Dream of JonBenet
by Anonymous So in my dream, I was somehow convinced who did it and it was true. I didn't say a name, but somehow the info I had was groundbreaking. I told my boss and she said if I have any info of...
View ArticleI HATE House Flippers
by Anonymous We found the perfect house st a fantastic price. As everthing came together and we put in our offer and was going to sign, some flipper came in with a brief case full of cash. Told them...
View ArticleI'd like a $40 pizza, Mr. Mayor
by Anonymous I exercised my financial privilege and bought a pizza from Little Cesar's. Then I watched through the window as a homeless thief stole my USB front light off of my bike. Now I have to buy...
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Good Morning, News: Fried Chicken Raps, Horse Hooves on Belmont, and the...
by Dirk VanderHart You probably know by now the 28-year-old suspected of planting bombs in Manhattan and New Jersey over the weekend was arrested Monday morning, after a gun battle with cops in which...
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Comedian Louis CK is Coming to Portland; Celebrate and PANIC!
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey PANIC!!First celebrate; then PANIC!! One of your most beloved comedians, Louis CK is coming to Portland for two days of shows at the Moda Center on January 19, 2017 and January...
View ArticleElevator Boobs
by Anonymous Dear elevator hottie:I really wasn't trying to be a creeper. I know you caught me looking at your cleavage and I smiled, yeah kind of creeper. But what was I supposed to do? Look away...
View ArticleOne Day at a Time
Is Hillary Clinton DEAD? Is Hillary Clinton a LIZARD PERSON? by Ann Romano MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 12Is Hillary Clinton DYING? Is Hillary Clinton ALREADY DEAD and has she been REPLACED by a BODY DOUBLE? Or...
View ArticleNew Column!
Problems? Perhaps an undecided voter can help! by Robbie Nuttall, Undecided Voter This morning I triedto fix my toaster, but accidentally gouged my arm with a screwdriver. There’s—there’s so much...
View ArticleSneaker Wave
The latest in Portland hip-hop. by Jenni Moore THIS WEEK’S column is ICYMI-themed, and dedicated to those of you who have some catching up to do. Ever since Portland rapper Aminé dropped “Caroline”...
View ArticleThings to Do Music
Noteworthy shows for the week of September 21-27. WEDNESDAY 9/21WARPAINT, FACIAL, GOLDENSUNS (Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell) Tonight’s Warpaint show comes just two days before the LA outfit releases...
View ArticleJohanna Warren’s Gemini I Cleans the Slate
The first of Johanna Warren’s twin albums, Gemini I, sees love as both a blessing and curse. by Ciara Dolan BRITISH OCCULTIST, magician, and mountaineer Aleister Crowley was infamous in the 1940s for...
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