Hey, did you guys catch last night's episode of The Walking Dead? Ummmm... I don't think Obama's gonna nominate Rick for any ambassador posts anytime soon! Let's talk more about it, okay? My spoiler-filled recap follows the jump, and as always, I'd love to hear your opinion. Let's get chitty-chatting!
MORE AFTER THE JUMP!
Here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode, "Try."
1) The episode opens with Prime Minister Deanna listening to some Nine Inch Nails—but don't worry, she doesn't have shitty taste in music, she's simply mourning the death of her jackass son who REALLY has shitty taste in music. Carol and her mom sweater drops a casserole off for the family, but Deanna leaves it on the porch and burns the note... because that's what Nine Inch Nails would do!
2) Remember that guy who got Everybody Hates Chris killed? (Let's call him A-hole Danny Partridge.) Well, A-hole Danny Partridge gives Deanna video testimony about what happened on the last run, and basically lies his ass off and blames it all on Glenn. Apparently Deanna doesn't give a crap what Glenn and Fat Elvis think, because she doesn't interview them, leaving Glenn to tell his story to Rick, who's all like, "THAT'S BULLSHIT MAN! WE DON'T FOLLOW NOBODY'S GOT-DAMNED RULEZZZ! WHOOP WHOOP! BOO-YAH!!" (Needless to say, Rick's feeling a bit aggro this week.)
3) Meanwhile, Carol's Sweater (aka Lady Macbeth) reminds Rick he needs to kill Sexy McHairdresser's drunk abusive hubby—so he goes over to Sexy's house to float the idea. Apparently she doesn't think Rick's particular brand of KA-RAAAAZY is cute anymore, and closes the garage door in his face. "FINE!!" Rick screams. "I'LL JUST TAKE MY GOT-DAMNED IDEA ABOUT KILLING YOUR HUSBAND TO PRIME MINISTER DEANNA!! HEY, PRIME MINISTER DEANNA!! IS IT OKAY IF I JUST KILL SEXY'S HUSBAND WITHOUT PRESENTING A MORE LEVEL-HEADED IDEA FIRST?!? RAWWWWRRRR!!!" Deanna says she doesn't think that idea's going to work for her.
4) Meanwhile the faaaaaar more level-headed Glenn tells A-Hole Danny Partridge that the coward a-hole isn't going on any more runs... and that's not a threat... it's "saving his life." Coward A-Hole Danny Partridge finds it hard to argue with that logic.
5) Meanwhile Sasha is exhibiting her own brand of crazy, sniping zombies left and right, and completely ignoring Michonne's also level-headed advice. (Can we please see a Michonne/Glenn ticket in the 2016 Alexandria election?) Later in horny adolescent land, Carl Junior stalks his crush Enid into the woods, and they aaaaaalmost kiss... but they don't, because this is not a show on the CW.
6) Meanwhile out in Zombie Land, Daryl and Creepy McColumbiaSportswear are hunting for more pleasant not-at-all-crazy humans when they see a light far off in the woods. Upon investigation they find a recently chopped up body (EWWWW!), and a woman tied up to a tree who had her guts eaten out. (EWWWWW!) She also had that mysterious "W"carved on her forehead, and I'm still betting the killer is George W. Bush, unless you guys have a better idea.
7) Meanwhile back in Rick's crazy mind, he visits Jessie again and tells her that there's no cure for drunk, abusive buttholes like her hubby, and all she has to do is say "yes" and he'll finish the job. (AGAIN. THERE ARE OTHER CHOICES, RICK.) She says "yes" and right on cue, here comes Sexy's drunk hubby... and surprise! HE'S DRUNK. Unfortunately for Rick this wussy drunk surgeon Hulks out when he's on the juice, and the pair get into a bloody, knock-down, drag-out fight where the two fly out the window and into the street. Sexy McHairdresser tells hubby to "STOP!" and gets a smack for her trouble. Carl Junior tells daddy to "STOP!" and gets a smack for his trouble. Finally Deanna orders them to stop, and crazy Rick pulls a gun and goes on the following rant: "STOP? OR WHAT?? YOU PEOPLE ARE TOO GOT-DAMNED WEAK, YOUR RULES ARE COWSHIT, AND I'M COMPLETELY SANE BECAUSE I'M WAVING A GUN AROUND WITH BLOOD DRIPPING FROM MY FACE AND... OWWWWW!!!" (He said "Oww" because Michonne snuck up from behind, and knocked his silly, hillbilly ass cold. Again... Michonne/Glenn 2016!)
8) Okay, Rick reached new heights of crazy this week, and next week is the season finale! Here are my predictions: Daryl's gonna catch George W. Bush out in the woods, Sasha's gonna accidentally shoot Carl Junior and Enid during a makeout sesh, Michonne and Glenn are going to continue to be calm (AKA sanctimonious and annoying), and Deanna's gonna attempt to kick Rick out of Alexandria forever—oh, and send Sexy's abusive hubby out there with him, why don'tcha?? Man, if I ran Alexandria things would be a got-damn cakewalk, BECAUSE I AIN'T CRAZY, GOT-DAMMIT!!
9) Leave your opinions in the comments, please!