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One Day at a Time: Taylor Diddles with Hiddle
by Ann Romano WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15Now we turn to a question that's kept us up at night: When will Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston do the sexing? We finally have the answer: They are! Right now!"Tinker...
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Jack Reacher DGAF
by Erik Henriksen JACK REACHER: NEVER GO BACK "This fellow looks friendly! Let's hear what he has to say."Look. I don't have a lot to add to this. I just want to make sure that you see it. I just want...
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Burger King Introduces "Mac n' Cheetos"; America Vows to Eat Them
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey For those who are bored with the usual methods of developing angina, may I present Burger King's newest product: MAC 'N CHEETOS.Courtesy Burger King / SatanAccording to...
View ArticleBIKETOWN IS HERE... except for the disabled
by Anonymous The city of Portland is launching its' bike share program, BIKETOWN, on July 9, 2016. Nike joined forces with the city last January when the $10 million, five year sponsorship was...
View ArticleI've got to pee!
by Anonymous Riding the bus is okay. I don't mind the waiting in the rain, the questionable hygiene of the other riders, or the unpredictable schedules at a premium price. What really irks me is the...
View ArticleScary Messages
by Anonymous Like the time I was having achy foot problems. Bam, I'd see TV commercials for the Good Feet store. When I was thinking of buying a house. Pow, I'd see computer ads and TV commercials for...
View ArticleCan we? I want to believe, but we wont.
by Anonymous I want to believe in words like hope and change but I just don't anymore. All I ever see are people on some welfare, disability, or unemployment. It's because they can, they do and find a...
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Good Morning, News: The Brexit's A Thing, Kate Brown's Alarmed by Oil Trains,...
by Dirk VanderHart Just, wow. In the face of good sense, and powered by anti-establishment, anti-immigrant sentiment, Britain has formally voted to exit the European Union. The Brexit actually...
View ArticleWho Sent the Dumbest Tweet in Reaction to Brexit?
by Dan Savage Just arrived in Scotland. Place is going wild over the vote. They took their country back, just like we will take America back. No games!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 24,...
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Things To Do This Weekend!
Things to do for June 24-26 by Bobby Roberts As a wizened R&B Jedi once carefully intoned, "We don't have to take our clothes off, to have a good time, no no. We can dance and party all night, and...
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Timbers v. Houston Match Preview
by Abe Asher Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland TimbersThe Portland Timbers play their first MLS home game for the better part of a month on Sunday against the Houston Dynamo (3:00 PM, TV on ESPN2) with a...
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Bernie Sanders Will "In All Likelihood" Vote for Hillary Clinton
by Rich Smith Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'Andrew Cline / Shutterstock.comSpeaking to CNN's Chris Cuomo this morning, Bernie Sanders said his vote will in "all likelihood" go to Clinton...
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Can You Talk Like Jeff Goldblum? Spoiler: No
by Andrew Wright Jeff Goldblum is a friend to all creatures.The problem with writing about Jeff Goldblum's speech patterns is that the things that make them so distinctive—the spoken italics, the...
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Bike Riders: Keep Your Bottom Clean and Neat
by Portland, Oregon Bicycle Seat A Public Service Announcement from Your Bicycle SeatDear Portland, Oregon Cyclists:As you know, the annual World Naked Bike Ride is this Saturday, June 25. And as your...
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The Portland DJ/Dance Night Mega List!
by Mercury staff CAKEPhotos by Minh TranDANCE NIGHTS CAN SUCK. If they're bad, you end up cowering, metaphorically, naked and afraid in a dark, humid armpit of a room among too many fedora-sporting...
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Everyone's Mad About the EPA's River Cleanup Plan, So the Agency's Offering...
by Dirk VanderHart It's been a little more than two weeks since the US Environmental Protection Agency unveiled its proposal for cleaning up the toxic Portland Harbor, and all anyone can seem to agree...
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No Goats Yet
by Ciara Dolan NAKED HOUR Trimming the tree with breakup songs.Claire AnnePORTLAND TRIO Naked Hour's upcoming debut, Always on the Weekend, is a series of vignettes chronicling the worst breakup...
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Meet the HOMOCATS: This Week's Cover Artist, J Morrison, on the Gayest Cats Ever
by Kathleen Marie Kill Guns, 2014, from "The War Continues" zineJ. MorrisonJ. Morrison is a Brooklyn-based artist who created the project HOMOCATS to fight phobias, promote equal rights, combat...
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Here's the $258.4 Million Housing Bond You'll Be Voting on in November
by Dirk VanderHart Hey, Portland: You know how this city is currently short about 24,000 affordable units? And how the rent here is shooting up as fast, or faster, than anywhere in the country—15...
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Amy Schumer is Coming to Portland!
by Megan Burbank Simon & SchusterComedian Amy Schumer is headed to Moda Center on Thursday, December 1. Here's the ticketing info, just announced via email:Tickets go on-sale Tuesday, June 28that...
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