I, Anonymous
Love and Action Figures A FEW WEEKS BACK, I ran into Walmart at Eastport, looking for a present for my nephew. As I grabbed an action figure, a little toddler boy walked up and tried to hand me a Five...
View ArticleEverything as Fuck
Some startling facts about England. by Ian Karmel 'Allo, 'allo!Sorry, how rude of me. 'Allo, 'allo is how they say hello in England, which is where I am right now. I'm overseas. Across the pond. On...
View ArticleWhy Is It So Damn Tough to Open a New Restaurant in Portland?
Rent, labor shortages, high costs are keeping newcomers in the weeds. by Andrea Damewood THREE DAYS A WEEK, Peter Cho is in his small, airy kitchen at Han Oak, plating haute Korean barbecue with just...
View ArticleChefs, Booze, and Frozen Pizza
We got top Portland chefs drunk and then made pizza—with toppings purchased at 7-Eleven. by Heather Arndt Anderson IT'S A WELL-KNOWN FACT that chefs and food writers slum it on junk food in their off...
View ArticleTackling the Trickiest Recipe in the Ox Cookbook
Tongue, offal, and time: It costs a lot to cook this cheap. by Andrea Damewood IT STARTED with a cow tongue and one recipe from Around the Fire, the new cookbook from the grill-happy restaurant Ox.It...
View ArticleThis Little Piggy Went to Market
And prepared a recipe from the Portland Farmers Market Cookbook. by Dirk VanderHart I DON'T VISIT our city's many farmers markets often. I never do, in fact, and I refuse to be denigrated or belittled...
View ArticleNot as Easy as Pie
I Tried (and Kind of Failed) to Make a Pizza from Ken Forkish's New Cookbook by Ciara Dolan THE LAST TIME I "made" a pizza, a couple of years ago, it was an inexpensive and easy endeavor: I went to...
View ArticleThe Gweat Gwyneth Paltrow Wrecipe Test
Is it really All Easy? IS ANYTHING? by Megan Burbank I AM A DREADFUL COOK. Blame it on grad school, sloth, or domestically inclined ex-boyfriends, but I'm staring down my thirties with a...
View ArticleThe World's Most Indispensable Food Accessories
If you're not using these remarkable inventions, you're eating incorrectly and might choke and will probably die. by Ned Lannamann EATING IS DANGEROUS and difficult—if it weren't necessary for...
View ArticlePortland's Most Delicious Mashups
Our favorite local mashups of booze, candy, spices, and more! by Andrea Damewood SOMETIMES, DEAR READER, when two Portland companies like each other very much, they get together and make a...
View ArticleYour Fave Portland Restaurant Too Busy?
Try these second choices! by Thomas Ross SCENARIO: Feeling a yen for your favorite brunch/pizza/ice cream/ramen place, you decide to leave the house for food. You finally find parking, stomach...
View ArticleYear of the Radler
Why this fruity beer cocktail is on everyone's lips. by Brian Yaeger IT'S NOT A MARKETING MYTH:Radler really means cyclist in German.So it stands to reason this is the beer—or beer cocktail more...
View ArticleWhy You Should Ignore the Wine Point System
What's the point? by MJ Skegg NEXT TIME you're in the wine store trying to decide what to buy, and you see one of those tags boasting that a wine scored 92 points or won a gold medal—you know what?...
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Good Morning, News: Istanbul Attacked, Trump Attacks Common Sense, and a...
by Megan Burbank A suicide attack at Istanbul's Ataturk Airport Tuesday night has killed 41 people and injured over 200. M.K.T. Istanbul via Wikimedia CommonsIn Istanbul: A suicide attack at...
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Recap: Portland Thorns vs. Orlando Pride
by Erin O'Regan Michelle Betos says "Sup?"Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FCSINCE YOU BEEN GONEWhile we were all basking in the Sunday sunshine here in Portland, the Portland Thorns were pulling out a...
View ArticleSavage Love Letter of the Day: Pregnancy Derails Poly Bliss
by Dan Savage My husband of six years and I have been dating a woman since February. She moved in with a friend a few doors down in October, and it took us to February to realize the attraction was...
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Ear Conditioning: Your Perfect Portland Summer Playlist
by Ciara Dolan THE SUN No makeup ;)Pr3t3nd3r via iStockIt finally feels like summertime here in ye olde Rose City, so you're probably ready to get sun-drunk and regular drunk on a dock/beach/grassy...
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PWR BTTM's 2015 Debut, Ugly Cherries, Redefines Rocking Out
by William Kennedy PWR BTTM Just like Spy vs. Spy.ANDREW PICCONEWITH CONSTANT COLLABORATION and long hours on the road, playing in a rock band can become a personality pressure cooker—especially for...
View ArticleAngry work neighbor who carrys her bike up stairs
by Anonymous I work in the same building as you downtown. I have seen you before entering & exiting the building we share visibly angry or mad about something numerous times before. This morning I...
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Malt Ball Mashups
by Bri Brey What happens when you put together the two best things in the world: delicious beer and rocking bands? You get the fifth annual Malt Ball, a festival that celebrates the staggering...
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