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I Love Television™: Attack of the Butthole Biters
Question: Do you despise "humanity"? Then boy-oh-boy-oh-boy, do I have a television show for you! It's called Zoo, and it's debuting Tuesday, June 30, at 9 pm on CBS. What's it about? Ohhhhh... nothing...
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The True Detective Chitty-Chat Club: Starring... Rat Goo!
Did everyone take their anti-depression medication and watch True Detective last night? (I think I'm gonna start doubling up on my meds.) Anyway, it had a—cue clickbait—very SHOCKING ENDING, and we...
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TV Land Yanks Dukes of Hazzard, and a Confederate Merchandise Roundup
Looks like the General Lee has finally encountered a hurdle it can't jump. The New York Post reports that TV Land—the network known for showing classic television shows—will no longer be airing...
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The True Detective Chitty Chat Club: E-Cigarettes Are the Worst
Did you watch True Detective last night? Spoiler alert: It was not as good as the US Women's Soccer team victory over Japan. BUT WHAT ON EARTH IS? However, there were things to chitty chat about, and...
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Today in Casual Racism: I Don't Think Paula Deen Learned Her Lesson
After all that mess in which diabetes-causing Food Network star Paula Deen was caught spewing racial epithets and then went on TV to blubberingly apologize for it, you'd think... YOU'D THINK... that...
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R.I.P. George R.R. Martin, Murdered by Sharknado
Last night marked the latest entry into Syfy's Sharknado franchise (calmly titled Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!), and was jam crammed full of glorious shark-incurred deaths... including Game of Thrones...
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The True Detective Chitty-Chat Club: Brought to You By Molly™ Breath Freshener
Good morning, True Detective fans! Did you watch last night's episode? If so, you may agree that this show is now 100 percent UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS. And therefore? I LOVE IT! Check out my...
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Netflix Dumps Cosby 77 Comedy Special
It may have taken a while, but Netflix has finally announced it will not be streaming the Cosby 77 stand-up special—which was designed to celebrate Bill Cosby's 77th birthday—following an avalanche of...
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The Hilarity and Tragedy of I Am Chris Farley
Watching Chris Farley still feels weird. Everyone's favorite era of Saturday Night Live tends to be the one they grew up with, and for me, that was the SNL of the mid-'90s, when the show was the...
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The True Detective Chitty-Chat Club: A Garbage Pail of Exposition
Hello! Did you people watch last night's exposition-filled episode of True Detective? Wonderful! Well, my spoiler-filled recap is after the jump... but don't worry, I staunchly REFUSE to put in any...
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Kevin Bacon Really Wants You to See His Wiener
In this new video from Mashable's Watercooler, the beloved Kevin Bacon presents a PSA on THE most important topic of our times: gratuitous male nudity, and how we need more of it. Marvel at Bacon's...
View ArticleYou're the Worst Season Two Trailer: "Let's Do Some Butt Stuff Tonight!"
My favorite new sitcom of last year was, hands down, You're the Worst—an FX comedy about two terrible people who fall in love, and struggle to retain their terribleness. SO FUNNY. Now You're the Worst...
View ArticleArby's Love Letter to Jon Stewart
For years, Jon Stewart has used his position as host of The Daily Show to make merciless fun of Arby's. And now that Jon's last show is upon us (Tonight! Comedy Central! 11 pm!), Arby's created a...
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The Tortured Artist Bullshit of Montage of Heck
The most oft-repeated claim by director Brett Morgen concerning his documentary Cobain: Montage of Heck is that he made the film for Frances Bean Cobain, the daughter of the late Nirvana frontman, so...
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The True Detective Season Finale Chitty-Chat Club: Who Killed Caspere the...
Oh dear lord! Did you watch last night's chock-full o' drama season finale of True Detective? Are you wondering if it met up to my high expectations? Well, by all means, let's chitty-chat about that!...
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The Top Ten I Love Television™ Illustrations
As mentioned in this week's column, I am retiring I Love Television™ (America's favorite column™!) after an illustrious and mostly profane 20 years. HOWEVER! I would be remiss not to give a huge...
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Man from U.N.C.L.E. Is Totally O.K.A.Y.
There's nothing particularly wrong with The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Guy Ritchie's adaptation of the Ian Fleming co-created spy-fi TV show from the 1960s. And thank god, Ritchie doesn't update it for 2015:...
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Best of Enemies and the Art of Throwing Shade
Sometimes you'll be watching a terrible garbage TV show, like maybe the entire show is just a monkey barfing into a diaper, and the person sitting next to you will say something like, "There used to be...
View ArticleR.I.P. Vern Fonk: Brilliant Commercial Artist (And He Sold Insurance, Too)
Let's give a big "honk" to Vern Fonk, who according to this report passed away at the too young age of 50.His name was Rob Thielke, but to the millions of viewers who have watched late-night Seattle TV...
View ArticleThe Opening Scene for Fear the Walking Dead
This Sunday marks the premiere of The Walking Dead spinoff/prequel Fear the Walking Dead(AMC, 9 pm)—for those who need more zombie skull-squashing in their lives! The early reviews are in, and while...
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